I hate having my photograph taken — how do I choose the right photographer?

“I hate having my photograph taken.”

It’s something a lot of people say — including women who are confident and comfortable in almost every other part of their lives.

Put a camera in front of them, though, and everything changes.

Suddenly they don’t know where to look, what to do with their hands or how to stand. They worry about their smile, their body and whether the finished photographs will feel anything like them.

So, if that sounds familiar, how do you choose the right photographer?

Choose the photographer, not just the portfolio

Of course, the first thing is to make sure you like their photographs.

Look through their website and social media and ask yourself whether the style feels right for you.

Do you prefer natural and relaxed? More polished and editorial? Bright and colourful? Soft and understated?

There is no right or wrong answer. You just need to like the kind of photographs they create.

But once you’ve established that, look beyond the portfolio.

Choose the photographer.

When you already dislike being photographed, the person behind the camera matters enormously. You need to feel comfortable with them, trust them and feel that they understand what you want the photographs to capture.

A beautiful portfolio shows you what someone can create.

It doesn’t necessarily tell you how you’ll feel while they’re creating it.

Get a feel for the person behind the camera

Spend a little time looking through their website and social media.

Read what they write. Watch any videos they’ve shared. Listen to how they speak and how they describe the experience of being photographed.

Do they seem warm and reassuring?

Do they sound as though they understand that being in front of a camera can feel uncomfortable?

Can you imagine spending an hour or more with them?

You’re not looking for someone who seems perfect. You’re simply trying to work out whether they’re someone you could relax around.

Speak to them before you book

A conversation can tell you far more than a website ever could.

Be honest. Tell them that you dislike having your photograph taken.

Ask how they work with people who feel self-conscious or uncomfortable in front of the camera.

Then notice how they respond.

Do they really listen, or do they brush your concerns aside with “Everyone says that”?

Do they ask what you dislike about previous photographs of yourself?

Do they want to understand how you’d like the photographs to feel?

You don’t need to become best friends with your photographer. But you do need to feel that you can talk to them and that they’ll listen.

Trust your gut

This may be the most important part.

After looking through their work and speaking to them, notice how you feel.

Do you feel reassured?

Do you feel understood?

Can you imagine trusting them when the camera comes out?

Or is there something making you hesitate, even if you can’t quite explain why?

Trust that instinct.

Being photographed can feel vulnerable, especially if you’ve disliked photographs of yourself for years. Feeling comfortable with the photographer is not a small detail. It can shape the whole experience — and the photographs too.

The right photographer for someone else may not be the right photographer for you.

Ask how much guidance they give

One of the biggest worries people have before a shoot is:

“I won’t know what to do.”

You shouldn’t be expected to.

Photographers work in different ways. Some give very clear direction. Some encourage movement and spontaneity. Others use a mixture of both.

Ask how they usually guide someone who feels unsure in front of the camera.

Will they help with where to stand, what to do with your hands and where to look?

Will they talk you through things as you go?

There’s no single best way to direct a shoot, but it helps to know what to expect and whether that approach will suit you.

Think about how you want the photographs to feel

People often focus on how they want to look in photographs.

But it can be much more helpful to think about how you want them to feel.

Perhaps you want them to feel warm, confident, joyful, relaxed, elegant or strong.

Perhaps you need professional photographs but don’t want to look overly corporate.

Perhaps you’ve been through a life change and want photographs that reflect who you are now.

Perhaps you simply want to recognise yourself.

The clearer you are about the feeling you want, the easier it will be to choose a photographer whose work and approach feel right.

Consider the setting

The environment can make a big difference.

Some people love the structure of a studio. Others find lights and equipment intimidating.

You may feel more comfortable outdoors, at home, at work or somewhere familiar.

Ask where the shoot will take place and what the setting will be like.

There is no best option. It’s simply about choosing somewhere you’re most likely to relax and be yourself.

Ask what happens before the shoot

Good preparation can remove a lot of uncertainty.

Ask whether the photographer will help you think about clothing, location and the overall feel of the photographs.

Will there be a planning call?

Can you share photographs you like?

Will they offer advice about what to wear?

You may want lots of guidance beforehand, or you may prefer to keep things simple. Either is fine. It just helps to know what support is there.

Find out whether you’ll see photographs during the session

Some photographers show clients images on the back of the camera as they go. Others prefer to wait until the photographs have been selected and edited.

Seeing a photograph during the session can be reassuring. It can help you realise that things are going better than you feared.

It’s worth asking about the photographer’s approach so you know what to expect.

Don’t choose on price alone

Budget matters, of course.

But when you’re comparing photographers, look at the whole experience rather than only the length of the session or the number of photographs included.

Think about the preparation, guidance and communication as well as the finished images.

A lower price doesn’t necessarily mean poor value, and a higher price doesn’t automatically mean someone is right for you.

The important question is whether you feel confident in the person you’re choosing and clear about what’s included.

Don’t be afraid to speak to more than one photographer

You’re allowed to shop around.

Speak to two or three photographers if you need to. Ask similar questions and notice how each conversation makes you feel.

One may have a style you love but an approach that doesn’t suit you.

Another may make you feel understood straight away.

Taking the time to find the right fit isn’t being difficult. It’s part of making sure the experience works for you.

You are not “bad in photos”

Disliking photographs of yourself does not mean you are unphotogenic.

It may simply mean the photographs you’ve seen in the past haven’t felt like you.

Perhaps you felt rushed.

Perhaps you weren’t given enough guidance.

Perhaps the style didn’t suit you.

Perhaps the photographs were technically good, but you didn’t recognise yourself in them.

The camera may not be the problem.

It may be the experience of being in front of it.

And if the experience is the problem, the experience can be different.

Choosing the right photographer isn’t about finding someone who will turn you into somebody else.

It’s about finding someone whose photographs you love, whose approach feels right and whose company allows you to relax enough to be yourself.

So yes, look at the portfolio.

But then choose the photographer.

And trust your gut.